Me and my boyfriend are over….
I called it off in the heat of an argument and now I think I really may have fucked it up. I dont know if I’m gonna get him back :(
I’m “happy” right now….
My life is going ok I have a gorgeous boyfriend (who may not be exactly healthy for me as he is so controlling) but I “love” him, my life seems to kinda have balanced, its ok. But now my ex, and not just an ex, the ex the one who made me take down my walls for him, the first person I let get past the ego and the character and get right to the depths of my soul, the one that just walked away and left me heartbroken and so incredibly lost is trying to get back in to my life. He’s calling my family members asking when is the next time I’ll be around. And the worst part is I want him so desperately back, I would drop everything I have going right now just for him. I love him, I love him, I love him…
:(
:/
OMG this is my relationship!
Bad, bad day….
I’m depressed, empty and hopeless. Im can feel myself breaking today and I have no one… :(
What my followers need to understand about “Miss Ditzy Blonde”
Miss Ditzy Blonde isn’t just a blog, shes a monster I’ve created, she a character, an alter ego. After my Nana died I broke, she was like my mother and all of a sudden she was gone and I was still am completely lost. After she died I stayed with my aunt for a few months and that’s when it happened, I died my hair blonde and started using hair straighteners, I started wearing make-up and I got my hands on some diet pill and lost 34 pounds in about 2 months or so, coming scarily close to an eating disorder..I still haven’t quite shaken it fully… I got a more girly sense of style and bought a whole new wardrobe to match. So now when I look in the mirror I have no idea who’s looking back at me, I see an egotistic barbie, a wall that I’ve built to stop people getting to close to the point where they can hurt me, an empty shell so detached from my soul, a ghost.
So for all my beautiful followers, most of the time I’ll be Miss Ditzy Blonde, but there’ll also be those days or nights where I’ll break and Zoe, the real me, my soul will come out. You should easily be able to tell by what I’m posting… x
Met him tonight and we had a good chat. He just told me that he’s going to change. That when our relationship started he was nothing but nice to me and now all he does is start fights with me. He said he knows he hasn’t been treating me right lately and he blamed it on the new crowd he’s hanging around with… But to be honest I don’t mind that he has a bit more attitude with me because at least I know what we have is real…
Whaaaaa?! Just logged in to my tumblr…
Where the frick did all these followers come from? Is this some sick joke?…
I just did a dance like this all around my sitting room… Only just on my own and without all the millions of people cheering me on… ;)
-Ditzy
